A Week of Befriending Email Scammers

Email scammers who work off of Craigslist and other similar sites are ridiculous.  For sometime now I’ve considered them the dumbest people in the world…and then I remember that they wouldn’t do it if it didn’t work so then the people who fall for their scams become the dumbest.  Any way, I often enjoy reading their stories of misfortune.  Whether coming from the unfortunate heir to the throne of a far off African Kingdom with all it’s riches or from an English investment banker (who apparently never had the privilege of a grammatically focused education but was fortunate enough to achieve great success in the financial world), they’re emails always call for your help.  Yes, yours!  I know that you’re just a lowly American middle class citizen who couldn’t dream of the wealth which their acquaintance could bring to your life, but it’s true!  And all that Sir Jabalik du Abish of the Sultan’s Court of Brunei requires is your bank account!   Yes, that did require another exclamation mark and so does this!  And really, why wouldn’t he need to go undetected by the Bruneise government in order to wire his deserved fortune to you?  Well Jabalik, or Sir Jabalik as your subjects call you, I enjoy your idiocy.  On a day spent in front of the computer hoping that Yahoo’s front page comes out with a new story yours, my simpleton thief friend, are a warm welcome.  When they really inspire me by mentioning a recently deceased father/King or imprisonment in your own court (not without internet access though…maybe a smartphone?) and I find myself, wallet in hand, ready to serve up both checking and savings account numbers I sometimes think in caution, “maybe I should get to know old Sir Jabalik a little better first,”  and then I respond to you in hopes of fostering our new and growing friendship.  The following emails are a taste of our conversations.  In your language Jabalik; my hope is the deepest of heartfelt concerns that your’s is an enjoyment of which all readers can take part and learn in.  Presently there will be hopeful future additions to some of these electronic mails…